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How to Ask Someone to Be Your Mentor

Navigating the professional landscape can be challenging, confusing, and downright scary sometimes! Having a mentor can help to ease some of the uncertainties of the working world while helping you create connections and open doors that might not have been previously available to you.

With 71% of Fortune 500 companies having a mentorship program, the importance of mentorship is evident on a large scale. What does that mean for the individual contributor? It means charting your own career path, help during a midlife career change, or developing for career growth.

While the benefits of having a mentor are clear, and you might even have someone specific in mind, the actual task of moving from colleagues to mentor/mentee can be a bit daunting. Read on to learn some of the best practices for asking someone to be your mentor, from initial contact to following through on your commitment to the mentoring process.

Once you’re ready to take the next step, and approach a mentor of your own, consider finding a great fit at MentorCruise, where mentors from dozens of professions are ready to help you level up your skills.

Identify a Good Mentor

Prior to approaching your potential mentor about working together, make sure that they are the right person for the job. As tempting as it may be to ask the CEO in the hopes that they can offer you years of insight, their time commitments, and your working relationship, might not make them the ideal candidate.

“A helpful mentor to have is someone who is two or three levels above you, but doesn’t work directly with you,” explains Mary Grace Gardner, career strategist at The Young Professionals. They will have experience that will help guide you during your mentoring relationship, and will be able to give you unbiased feedback that won’t be skewed by past work.

As you evaluate if someone is a good potential mentor ask yourself:

  • What will I gain by working with this person as a mentor?

  • Does their working style align with the kind of mentorship I need?

  • Do we have an existing connection?

  • Can I see myself on their career path?

Choosing the right mentor requires a genuine connection, with a logical relationship between your work and theirs. Do NOT choose a mentor based on the following:

  • How quickly can this person help me move into a similar role?

  • What steps can I skip by having this person as my mentor?

  • Who else can this person introduce me to in the next month?

There might not be one right fit for your potential mentor, but it is something that you want to take time to make careful consideration about. After all, this is a potential long-term professional relationship that can help bolster your confidence and your career.

If you’re looking for 1:1 mentorship in SaaS, marketing, startups (and just about anything else you can imagine), browse through the mentors available through MentorCruise who are ready to give you real-life, practical advise on your next venture.

Making the Ask

This is where you will need to be prepared, and confident. This is not a conversation to be had in passing, or in line while grabbing a coffee.

Schedule a conversation

Take the time to schedule a 15-30 minute chat with your potential mentor. You don’t want to feel rushed, or like you have to get in and out in five minutes. This will allow you to make your request and your potential mentor to ask questions of their own.

Describe the type of guidance you’re seeking

Mentoring can take on many forms, so it’s important to know what kind of mentoring relationship and goals you are looking for prior to meeting with your potential mentor. Do you want to work towards a certain role? Transition from one concentration to another?

And what will this mean for a working relationship with a mentor? Outline what you are looking to achieve, and what kind of time commitment you’re asking for. Sidenote: make all asks realistic. A mentor has a role of their own so weekly hour-long lunches probably won’t be realistic, but quarterly coffees with email correspondence in between might be.

How to Be a Good Mentor Your Mentee Listens To by MentorCruise clearly outlines different kinds of mentorship relationships that can help you determine the level of support that you need. Do you need a:

  • Personal Mentor: who helps you figure out your goals, and where you would like to end up. This may combine personal and professional guidance.

  • Expert Mentor: an expert in your field who has a skillset that you would like to develop to help you achieve success in your shared field.

  • Co-Mentor: a colleague or business partner that is part of a mutually-beneficial mentoring relationship.

  • Reverse Mentor: a means of closing the generational and skills gap to pass on information to an older member of the workforce.

Confirm your commitment to a mentoring relationship

It’s Your Yale points out that, “[t]here’s nothing more frustrating than mentoring someone who doesn’t do the work necessary to take advantage of advice.” Mentoring is not a relationship in name only, it’s about putting in the time to learn from your mentor, their guidance, and working on achieving your professional goals.

Outline how you will be prepared for your meetings. Potential action items may be:

  • Detailed agendas for each of your meetings

  • Notes on follow up actions from your previous meeting

  • Direction and focus for each meeting session

  • Areas to work on prior to your next session

Be gracious (No matter the response)

There will be some instances when your potential mentor won’t be in a position to take on a mentee at the time that you ask. If this is the case, be appreciative of the time that they’ve taken to meet with you, and acknowledge that you appreciate that they took the time to consider your request.

Most times someone declining to be a mentor isn’t personal! They might have a packed schedule, family demands, or another mentor/mentee relationship already in place. Even if the rejection stings, it is better than starting a relationship with a mentor who realizes six months down the road that they can’t properly support you in the way that you need from a mentor.

Acknowledge your appreciation and their time

If you are successful with asking a mentor to take you on, acknowledge your appreciation of their commitment to working together. Send them a thank you note, and schedule your first meeting so that you maintain the momentum of your first conversation. “[Don’t] make any over-the-top displays,” Says Jill Santopietro-Panall, owner of 21Oak HR Consulting, LLC. “Don’t make people second-guess their choice to mentor you. Be professional and excited, but still be chill about it.”

Start the mentoring relationship

Now that you’ve gotten what some feel is the hardest step out of the way, it’s time to dive into your mentorship. You’ll be ahead of the game with your predetermined goals and objectives, and can now work with your mentor to create tangible tasks or areas of focus to achieve those goals.

MentorCruise goes into an in depth study of this area in How to Set Effective Mentoring Goals. MentorCruise outlines practices for both the mentee and mentor.

To create a quality goal as a mentee, create a SMART one (one of our favorite acronyms):

  • Specific: Leading to better performance in 90% of cases, this component addresses the What/Why/Whose/Where of your goal.

  • Measurable: Includes numbers, or meets a benchmark

  • Attainable: Goals need to push you, but stay realistic at the same time.

  • Relevant: Meaningful goals align with what you want to achieve long-term.

  • Time-bound: Deadlines help ensure that targets are met, and that things don’t peter off without completion.

Mentors will benefit by setting goals for their mentor role as well. MentorCruise notes that, “Mentoring relationships are opportunities to share your knowledge and progress your careers (simultaneously).” Some mentor-specific goals could be to:

  • Develop your mentee’s leadership skills

  • Gain new perspective

  • Grow their professional reputations

  • Personal career advancement as a leader/teacher

If you’re struggling to make concrete goals pertaining to your mentor’s ability to help, go over MentorCruise’s Why Mentors Are Like Magic Mushrooms (no, not those kind of mushrooms!). Mentors can help in an infinite number of ways, but it can be hard to narrow down the kind that you’re looking for. A small selection from MentorCruise’s articles notes that mentors can help by:

  • 10X Your Learnings: What experience do they have that you want to learn from? What specialized skillset do you have questions about?

  • Networking: What professional groups are they a part of? How can you be a beneficial component of their networking circle in return?

  • The Harsh Truth: What will they tell you that others won’t? How can they help you break down barriers that you’ve put up yourself?

Having a mentor is one of the most valuable resources that anyone in the working world can have. Whether you are climbing the corporate ladder, starting out in your first career, or an entrepreneur looking for guidance, a mentor is a precious resource that most people would benefit from. Don’t rush into choosing a mentor; find someone that aligns with your goals and working style, and together you’ll be able to build a long-term relationship that results in your success.

MentorCruise is your one-stop shop for finding a mentor with valuable experience in your field who is ready to work with a mentee to elevate their work to the next level, while giving practical advice. Get ready to make a connection by signing up for MentorCruise, and find your next mentor, today.  

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